In the world of behavior, we talk about reinforcing, or rewarding, “good behavior”. In fact, most of what we do is based on this premise and it allows us to make major behavior changes without punishing a child. But, I have gotten a lot of pushback on this from parents, teachers, and administrators. I hear things like “I’m not going to reward them for doing something they should do” or “I don’t want them to have that much access to xyz”. And to the first, I say “well they aren’t doing what they “should” be doing, so that’s how we’ll get them there”. And to the second I say that’s fair, especially if it’s electronics, candy, etc.
However, what everyone needs to know is that rewards are not meant to be forever! We reward behavior we want to see and oftentimes we do so heavily in the beginning. This allows us to really let our child know that they are doing wonderful things! BUT…then we fade it. Eventually, if we do it right, the child won’t need to be rewarded anymore and the new skills they learned (sharing, completing homework, doing their chores) will stick around.
By fading the rewards, I mean slowly decreasing the amount and how often we’re giving the reward. If we just stop giving it suddenly, the behavior probably won’t continue either. But, if we slowly stop giving as much or as often, the behavior will be maintained until we can be done with the reward altogether.
So, don’t be afraid if someone recommends rewarding a behavior. Whether it’s something they should be doing or are just learning, rewarding it through appreciation, activities they enjoy, and special treats will ensure they are learning and it won’t be for forever.
Leave a Reply