There are loads of great (and not so great) parenting advice out there on the internet. And, as parents we want to do what’s best for our kids. But…none of that advice seems to be helping. Here are some reasons why:
- The person you’re following doesn’t actually know what they’re talking about. Just because you have a toddler or two doesn’t mean you can give advice to other parents. Follow people who have the credentials to back up what they’re saying.
- You haven’t given it enough time. This is a HUGE one I see with the parents (and teachers) I work with. They take the advice, try it for a day or two, it doesn’t show immediate changes, and so you stop because it didn’t work. Here’s the thing when you’re changing behavior… it takes time! Sometimes, a lot of it. And…unfortunately…sometimes things get worse before they get better. Give it a bit more time and then reflect.
- You don’t have the right reward. Look, I know, we don’t want to have to be giving out rewards for things our kids should be doing. But guess what, if they aren’t motivated to do something, they aren’t going to do it. Rewards aren’t forever, but you have to motivate them to do the thing. Then you fade out that reward nice and slowly so they don’t go back to their own ways.
- The advice you’re taking is only to make your kid stop doing something. When trying to get your kid to stop hitting or screaming or any number of things, you have to give them what we call a “replacement behavior”. Your child is hitting, screaming, or whatever, as a form of communication. Figure out why they’re doing it and then teach them a better way to get that thing, like by asking for it.
Either way, know you’re killin’ it as that child’s mom or dad and we’re all just doing the best we can. Take the advice you want, leave the rest, and do